What’s the Best Age to Have Kids?

So, you tied the knot. You’re living the dream with your person—maybe you’re doing weekend brunches, traveling without packing six snack options, or sleeping in past 7 a.m. And then… that question creeps in.

Should we start thinking about having kids?
And then the even bigger one: When’s the “right” time to have kids?

Here’s the truth—there is no one answer. This is one of those deeply personal things that varies so much for each person, each couple. For me? I genuinely believe you don’t always get to plan it. Sometimes it just happens. And I believe that’s the way God intended for some of us—life unfolding as it’s meant to.

But let’s be real. Planning isn’t bad. Bringing a tiny human into the world before you’re ready can be incredibly hard. So if you’re sitting there wondering about the when, I want to share some thoughts that might help—real pros and cons of having kids in your 20s, 30s, or 40s. No sugarcoating, just real talk.

Having Kids in Your 20s

Benefits

If we’re talking biology, your 20s are prime time. You’re full of energy, likely in great health, and bouncing back from sleepless nights feels like less of a big deal.

Fertility is at its peak, and the risks during pregnancy are typically lower. Recovery after birth? Often smoother. And honestly, your noise tolerance when your toddler decides to play drums on a mixing bowl? Off the charts.

Downside

But the catch is—are you ready mentally? In your 20s, you might still be figuring out who you are. Maybe you just started your first job, or you’re knee-deep in grad school.

Maybe your dreams involve backpacking Europe, not potty training. Having a baby can hit the brakes on a lot of that. You might not feel mature enough to parent yet—because, let’s face it, you’re still becoming you.

And then there’s the money part—kids are expensive. Daycare can cost more than your rent. So, unless you have family support, starting a family in your 20s can come with a lot of hustle and sacrifice.

Having Kids in Your 30s

Benefits

Ah, the balance zone. For a lot of moms, the 30s feel like the sweet spot. You’re likely more settled—emotionally, financially, and maybe even in your career. You’ve had your fun, grown a little (or a lot), and now the idea of slowing down to raise kids doesn’t feel quite so wild.

Downsides

You’re still young and strong enough to keep up with the chaos, and more grounded in who you are as a person and a parent. You might have your own home, health insurance, and a stroller budget.

But… time matters here. Fertility starts to decline in your mid-30s, so if you’re hoping for a big family, you’ll need to think ahead. Sleep deprivation hits harder than it did in your 20s, and bouncing back physically might take a little longer.

Still, for many women, this is the golden window. You’re not just ready, you’re willing—and that combo is powerful.

Having Kids in Your 40s

Benefits

Some people say the 40s are too old. I say… tell that to the rockstar moms who’ve had babies at 40, 42, even 45. These mamas are wise, secure, and intentional. You’ve likely got your finances in order. You know what you want and don’t want. And you cherish every moment, because you really understand how precious it is.

Downsides

But it’s not all smooth sailing. Fertility is lower, and pregnancy risks are higher. Recovery is slower, energy is harder to come by, and chasing a toddler at 43? That’s a workout in itself. If you want more than one or two kids, time isn’t on your side. But if you’re starting later with eyes wide open, there’s a lot to love about parenting with maturity.

Final Thoughts

Here’s the truth: there’s no perfect time to have kids. Every season of life brings its own gifts and its own challenges. Whether you’re 22 or 42, becoming a parent changes everything—and it asks a lot of you.

But it gives even more.

No matter when it happens, raising kids is one of life’s most beautiful, messy, magical experiences. And someday, when you’re older and surrounded by their laughter, you’ll be so glad you took the leap, whenever it came.

Motherhood isn’t about timing. It’s about the heart behind it. And that? That’s something only you can know.