Tips on Tuesday: Less than perfect Mothering

I just received this email into my inbox. It hit home so hard in my current space and place in life that I could hardly breathe. As I try not to be a helicopter mom (you know--always hovering), I often war with myself between allowing independence and holding onto my babies. I thought this was the most poignant thing I've read recently. Enjoy!

Less-Than-Perfect Mothering
Carla Foote, Director of Communications

MOPS International, www.mops.org

"I was watching parents drop their kids off at school last week, and I noticed a trend: many parents didn’t want to let their children go off on their own, for fear that they might come across disappointment, failure or difficulty. Moms and dads wanted to stick around, so they could continue to protect their kids.

We put lots of pressure on ourselves as moms to “get it right.” (Whatever “right” and “it” are.) Somehow as we make our way through the thousands of things that make up our individual mom-styles, there’s still a nagging suspicion that our kids will turn out terribly if we mess something up.

There’s nothing wrong with aspirations toward being more patient, nurturing, organized or more whatever as a mom, but I think our children learn important life lessons in the less-than-perfect times – when we make “mistakes.” How we mother during this less-than-perfect life builds resilience in our kids. Life is, after all, less than perfect.

Toys will break, sandwiches will be sliced incorrectly and playground friends will be mean. These inconveniences and heartbreaks might be the best preparation for inevitable disappointment later in life. After all, cars break down, breakfast toast burns and some degree of relationship disappointment is inevitable.

It’s an important job to show our kids how we (less-than-perfect moms) take deep breaths and move forward in the face of trouble, disappointment and discouragement. Even if we’re not graceful under pressure, our children can watch us apologize, stand up and brush off the dirt.
By the way, I wasn’t watching first-time school kids being dropped off – this was freshman orientation at college! Let’s decide to let our little (and not-so-little) ones walk their own rocky paths every once in a while. It will be good for them in the end."

Copyright © 2009 by MOPS International, Inc.